Tag Archives: cheese sandwich

The day after

24 Mar

Today is Tuesday and I am sitting here typing away at the computer as usual. Yesterday evening I had my ‘Procedure’. Under the influence of painkillers and a relaxant I was laid down on my left side, wearing nothing but a backless hospital gown and a pair of socks. It was not a pretty sight. Whilst thus arranged I had an endoscope pushed up my bottom. A smallish polyp was located and removed. Within half an hour I was sitting up drinking a cup of tea and munching on a plain cheese sandwich. Rarely can something as boring have tasted so good.

That was all the examination found. The polyp has been sent off for testing and I will be informed of the results, probably within two weeks. I am not too worried, as only one was found, and I am reasonably confident that it won’t prove to be a ‘nasty’.  They had a thorough look round, and I could see what was happening on a monitor by the bed, if only at an acute angle. Afterwards I was complimented on the cleanliness of my colon. After all that laxative and no food it should have been as clean as a proverbial whistle.

One part of the procedure might have been to blow air into the colon to open it up. This did not prove necessary. Not that I wanted this to happen, but because of a probable side effect I was a bit disappointed. How often do you have an opportunity of having the world’s largest fresh air fart?

Today I am not allowed to drive or operate machinery or to sign legal documents. I shall try to get over the disappointment. As it stands, I don’t feel too dull-witted, hardly more than usual. Thanks to all the staff at Hereford Hospital for making it a genuinely painless visit, and for that cheese sandwich.